How to spark up meaningful conversations with 17 easy to adapt questions
Imagine you meet your friend Marina for a coffee in downtown Athens.
You hug and cheerfully comment about how long it has been since you last met.
She asks you about your news and how is your family doing. You tell her a bit about your trip and your parents, your partner…
Marina eagerly goes ahead and asks you about the problem you had at work, the new hobby you had mentioned on Facebook, the book you had recommended … She can’t wait to catch up with you.
So far everything looks good, doesn’t it?
Both Marina and you are interested in one another’s lives, you want to hear news, give your opinion about significant matters, talk about hobbies, suggest new books or movies.
However, if you look closer you’ll find that she’s the one asking questions and you’re the one giving answers.
Recall your last conversation in Greek. Is this what happened?
While Marina knows you and likes you, you might be:
Struggling to keep up with the pace of a native speaker
Switching to English often in order to communicate better
Feeling “interrogated”, even with Marina’s best intentions
Speaking is not necessarily communicating!
You’ve probably heard and experienced that speaking in the language you learn is the hardest of all skills.
But is it speaking, or rather communicating that is hard?
Because when you speak, you form a sentence.
But when you communicate, you need to:
Listen
Understand
Nod, use body language
Give your opinion or comment
Ask back
And it’s this last one thing that determines whether the conversation keeps on going or not.
Imagine that “asking back” is like a hook: It gives both people the opportunity to connect their thoughts and eventually be connected with each other.
If your part in talking lacks the hook, then your Greek friend has nowhere to hang their thoughts.
In Greek, we use the very fitting word “συνομιλητής, συνομιλήτρια”, (co-speaker) to describe the people who interact in a conversation (in this case, your Greek friend).
According to the Dictionary , συνομιλητής means the person who co-talks with another person (coming from συν-ομιλώ).
What happens in a conversation?
So, how are you going to bring a conversation back to life? How will you show you are curious and eager to find out more about your friend’s life and to show them you’re genuinely interested in them?
By simply asking them.
This is something you automatically do in your own language - and this is one of the reasons you or your friend switch to English/ the language you are both comfortable speaking - but you might tend to avoid it in Greek.
Why avoid it? This might happen for many reasons. You might:
Freeze, because you’re afraid you won’t understand the answer
Try to say as many things as you can (the opposite of freeze!) and get carried away
You have difficulty with questions, because they require a different structure in the sentence
You become self-conscious, you strive for perfection, which means you put more effort and time to form a proper reply, then you’re too exhausted to attempt a question
You can’t keep up with the pace of the conversation and eventually stick to replying only
To save time and probably some headache as to how to form questions that will enliven your conversations with your Greek friends or relatives, here’s a list of the most common ones:
Questions about their opinion or advice:
Πώς σου φαίνεται/φάνηκε ο/η/το …; How does it seem/looks like to you?
Ποια είναι η γνώμη σου για ..; What’s your opinion about …?
Τι θα με συμβούλευες να …; What would you advise me to …?
Πού προτείνεις να πάμε για …; Where do you suggest we go to …?
Εσύ, τι θα έκανες στη θέση μου; And you, what would you do if you were me …?
Τι νομίζεις /τι λες /τι πιστεύεις για …; What do you think/say/believe about …?
Questions about life events, current news:
Κι εσύ τι …; And you what …(insert the same verb they just used to ask about you)?
Πώς πήγε ο/η/το …; How did it go?
Και τι τους είπες; Και τι έκανες; And what did you tell them? What did you do?
Και μετά τι έγινε; And then, what happened?
Μου έλεγες για …. Τι γίνεται τώρα; Πώς πάνε τα πράγματα; You were telling me about … What’s going on now? How do things go?
Questions about personal stories, habits and hobbies:
Πού γνωριστήκατε με τον/την …; Where did you meet …?
Τι συνηθίζετε να κάνετε σ’αυτή τη γιορτή/ημέρα/περίσταση; What do you usually do on this celebration/(special) day/occasion?
Εσένα, ποιος συγγραφέας / ηθοποιός κτλ σου αρέσει; And how about you, which writer/actor do you like?
Εσένα ποιο βιβλίο / ποια ταινία σου άρεσε; And how about you, which book/movie did you like?
Τι κάνει ο / η / το …; How is …?
A question to offer help with something:
Έχεις πολλή δουλειά; Χρειάζεσαι βοήθεια; Are you busy? Do you need any help?
Don’t skip the study part!
I love lists but only if they bring a meaning to your learning. Stacking one sentence after the next will not help you; using them meaningfully, it will.
Find here some ideas:
Remember to add a question when you chat on social media or via any private chat with your friends / family: take advantage of the time you have to form sentences in typing but also enjoy a chat at a live or almost live time. In fact, this is what we do in our forum with the members of the Greek at Heart community!
Add a question when you practice on your own with voice recordings. What are these? How to do it? See 5 steps to improve your speaking on your own, here.
If you need some help & feedback, check my 1-week mini-course 1-Week Into Greek. This is a short but mighty immersion Greek online program to help you get started with speaking & expressing yourself.
Practice :-) To make meaningful discussions and connect with the other person (your “συνομιλητή”/ “συνομιλήτρια”), make questions a part of your speaking.
After a while, they will organically be part of all your conversations.
Thank you for learning with me!
~ Danae
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